If you’re trying to make a change in your life, a change in your diet, a change in your lifestyle, a change in where you live, if you’re trying to become whole and healthy, to start a new job, whatever it is, here are five things that you’re going to need to consider and to do in order to make it happen.
I began to think about this yesterday as I was attending, actually I was presenting at Kīswahili Day, an event where it was a graduation for language teacher education program where I’ve been meeting with my Kiswahili teacher. Mwalimu Botha, the head of the department who happens to be my teacher invited me and a fellow diasporan to present in kiswahili.
This made me think about some of the things that I had to do in order to get to that place. I’m by no means fluent in Kīswahili, I have a long way to go. I’ll be continuing to do these steps as I continue to grow.
The first thing is to step out of your comfort zone. Your comfort zone is what’s keeping you stuck where you are right now. You’re not going to be able to reach your goal if you stay stuck behind that comfort zone. You must move past that, you must explore new places, you must explore new skills, you must meet new people, you must be open to new ways of thinking, you need to get past that feeling of no I can’t.
I’ve been here in Tanzania for almost eight years and I’m certainly not where I thought I would be by now with speaking the language. And this past fall I decided to really commit to this. Part of this Swahili class was to go and meet at this college with all these young people and everybody around me was speaking Swahili. It was out of my comfort zone.
But, I decided I needed to do this. If I’m going to make this happen, then I have to do it. It meant interacting with people in Swahili. Fortunately they speak English also but mostly I was interacting with people in Swahili that were Swahili over my head but I did it anyway.
And as I did it, as I learned new words, as I challenged myself to hear new words, my ability to speak Swahili has grown.
Number one is to step outside your comfort zone. You’re not going to get to where you want to go if you stay stuck in your comfort zone. Where are you too comfortable? How can you get out of your comfort zone as you step into your new self, your new future, your new life?
The second thing is if you’re going to step out of your comfort zone you need to step into your fear. Yes it was frightening for me to do this. There have been many times in my life I’ve confronted fear, when I felt fear, sometimes I let it hold me back, but other times, I have been able to be courageous and step forward. And it’s when I do that, that I push through to the other side and I grow. I learn and I get closer to my goal.
Change is scary but that place you’re trying to get to is over there on the other side of that fear. So you’ve got to do it. Don’t let fear stop you. Step into your fear.
And look inside of you. What are you afraid of? What are the things that stop you in your tracks? Where does your fear come from? What is behind your fear? Are you afraid that you’re not good enough? Are you afraid that you can’t do it? Are you afraid that people will laugh at you? What is it that’s behind your fear? Look at that. Examine that. Recognize it. And ask yourself is that really true?
Number two is to step into your fear and do that thing that makes your heart race.
Number three is embrace your failures. Failures are not anything to be ashamed of. Failure is actually part of your learning and growing experience as well. As you get out of the side of your comfort zone, as you step into that fear, you’re going to do things that didn’t work out the way you meant it to. You’re going to make mistakes. This is a part of your process. As you make those mistakes and you learn from those mistakes, then you can make progress. You can see what doesn’t work and explore something else that does work.
So don’t be afraid of failure. Actually embrace failure. Failure is your key to success. With my Swahili, there’s been many times, like yesterday in my speech, I got up there, I was reading it, but there were many times where I stumbled over words. And then after the program we were eating a meal and I was with some of the dignitaries, and they’re asking me questions. I was afraid that I wasn’t going to be able to answer the question or I wouldn’t understand.
I had to be willing to say to them, “ah, sielewi,” I don’t understand. Don’t be afraid of failure and to admit your failure. Stand strong in your failure knowing that this is okay. This is a part of your growth process. It doesn’t say anything bad about you. Embrace your failures.
Number four is be willing to change. You’re not going to get to where you want to go if you’re not willing to change and embrace new ideas. You will change as you keep moving forward. Things will change and your perspective on things will change. The people around you will change. Be open to that.
Keep your mind open. Don’t say things like, “Oh, this won’t work for me.” No, think about it like “how could this work for me? If it did work, what difference would it make? How could it work for me?” Don’t say, “Oh, I already know this. I don’t need to do this.” Instead consider, “What can I learn new from it this time?” Open your brain to some new ideas that can come from you re-examining something and learning something new.
Growth equals change. Be open and ready. Where are you resistant to change and why is that? What do you think is behind that?
Number five is don’t go it alone. With my Swahili learning, I’ve had a fellow diasporan who’s been studying with me. I’ve had a teacher that is helping me. I have people in my community around me at home that are helping me. I know that I need support. I cannot do this myself. Yes, a lot of it is on me, but I also need help.
Who can you learn from? Who else is doing this? Or even if it’s not someone you know, who can you watch? Who can you learn with? Who else is doing this that you can join together and support each other?
And lean on your spiritual team, on your ancestors, on your spirit guides, on the divine, whatever your spiritual beliefs system is. Lean on that spiritual team. They’re here to support you as well.
And be vulnerable. Part of being in that community is being able to admit your failures, to admit your fears, admit what you’re going through and getting the support you need. You’ll discover oftentimes that they’re going through some of the same things. And together you can encourage each other.
It can help you not feel so much like there’s something wrong with you. Because there isn’t. There’s nothing wrong with you. You are amazing. The fact that you’re even doing this at all is great.
Where could you most use support? And always know that I’m here to support. Look below for the link to learn more about working with me.
I recorded this video at Spices and Herb Ethiopian restaurant here in Arusha, Tanzania. One of my favorite places to eat. The food is delicious and the owner is a fellow diasporan. It’s one of the very first places I ever ate back when I first came here in 2014 to visit.
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