You think, okay, this year I’m going to get healthy. This year I’m going to lose that extra weight. This year I’m going to start exercising more. And then… what happens is that not too much longer, your plans fall apart. So why is that and what can we do about it? How can you actually stick to your resolutions and goals? Today, let’s talk about how to make your commitment to making a positive change in your life in the new year actually work.
Unfortunately, most of us have a lot of trouble sticking to our New Year resolutions. We have these goals, and then we find within a few days, a few weeks, maybe even a few months, we have gotten right back to where we were before and we didn’t make the changes that we want to make.It’s not because there’s anything wrong with you. It’s not because you don’t have willpower or you’re not strong enough. It’s not because of any of those things.
It’s because you just don’t know what it is that you need to do to be able to make this happen. You haven’t been taught these skills. And the world that most of us live in is not at all encouraging or supporting of you actually doing it.
The narrative out there is yes, you need to eat better and get exercise etc., but the day-to-day life that you live in is not supporting you on your journey.
So what can you do instead? How can you make your commitment to making the change actually stick and work for you?
In my work with my clients and in my online programs, here are some of the ways that I teach to help you actually be successful.
Number one is to get really clear on what you want to happen, what it is you want to do, and why.
How is it going to help you improve your life? What will happen if you don’t do it? Get clear, really clear about what your want, your motivation and your reasons for doing this. What it is you hope to achieve and why. How it’s going to impact your life.
Think about how you actually want to feel in the new year. Do you want to feel more joy? Do you want to feel more energetic? Do you want to feel more vibrant? Do you want to feel more peaceful? What is it that you want to feel? Spend some time and think about your life, your relationship life, your work life, your health life, your spiritual life. What is it that you actually want to feel?
If you want to feel more energetic, then you can begin to look at the things that will help that actually happen. If you lose weight, will that help? If you are changing your diet, will that help? If you are getting better sleep, will that help? Identify those aspects of your life that you can change that will have the most impact and start there.
The second step is to observe the now, the good, the bad and the ugly.
We want to get really clear on what’s going on in your life right now. There’s no shame involved in here. We’re just observing. We all make mistakes. We all fall short of our goals or what we really hope to do. Right now we’re observing. And the more you observe, the more honest you are and clear headed about what it is that’s going on, the better chance you’ll have of being able to make some changes.
Keep track of what is actually happening. This is when your journal comes in handy. Observe, observe, observe. What are you eating? How are you feeling about that? What are the things that are causing you trouble? What are the things that are throwing you off track? Who are the people in your life that are causing you issues? What are your cravings?
Keep track of absolutely everything. The more details you put into this, the better. This will be one of the most important things you do. This will be what will help you identify the things that are throwing you off track and help you get back on track.
Make sure that you’re doing what you can to make this process enjoyable. If you’re focused on all the things that you’re having to give up, if you’re focused on what a struggle it is and you’re beating yourself at every turn, then you’re much less likely to succeed.
Instead focus on the progress that you’re making little by little. On how reaching these goals will have a positive impact on your life.
If you’re focusing on how much better you’re feeling, if you have a growth mindset and not a downer mindset, then that will help you go a long way. Keep an eye on where you’ve come from, you were way down there before and now you’re here. Your goal may be to be way up there. And yes, we’re gonna keep our eyes on that goal but we’re also gonna see how far we come and we’re gonna know that this is gonna take time.
This is not a quick fix. This is not a quick one and done. We’re making big changes. We are creating a whole and healthy new us. And so this is going to take some time. Bit by bit, step by step, little by little, we’re going to climb this mountain, we’re going to do this thing.
So keep your eyes on the prize and what that is going to bring to your life. And keep your eyes on what was before and how far you’ve come along the way.
In step three, we begin to work on uncovering what it is that’s causing us to be stuck.
What are the beliefs that we have about ourselves, about the world, about what is possible for us? What are the patterns that we have in our life that are leading us down the wrong path instead of allowing us to go in our new direction. We’re going to uncover those things that help us be successful as well as those things that get in our way.
See if you can figure out what are the things that are going on in your life right now that are causing you the most trouble. Is it that you go to bed too late? Is it that you go out to lunch with your coworkers every day? Is it that you have all this junk food in your house? What are the places right now you can see that these are the issues that are causing you trouble and how can you work to remove those issues from your day to day life?
Be persistent. Know that yes, things are gonna happen. You’re going to make some mistakes, but don’t let that stop you. Each time you make a mistake is an opportunity to learn what caused that mistake and create a plan for how to do better next time. Use each mistake, each failure as an opportunity to learn what’s going to help you win.
I always say that really, failures are your keys to your success. If you use them that way. Don’t take it as, “Oh my God, I failed. I did this, I’m gonna quit!”
No, this is an opportunity for you to say, “Ah, I see what happened here. My coworkers were going out to lunch and they wanted to go to this place. That’s what the problem was.
Okay, so what do I do next time? A, I can suggest a different place or I can look online and see what’s the menu and have it already in my head for what to do. Next time I’m gonna order the pasta, but without the chicken.”
Whatever it is that you need to do. “Next time I have to have this meeting that’s going to late, late, late, late, I will know that it is going to impact how I sleep that night and I just will accept that. Maybe I’ll have some chamomile tea at home. Make sure that I have something soothing to watch or to read that will help me blind down. I will make sure I don’t drink coffee at the meeting. That will make me stay up even later.”
So what are the things that happened in your situation and how can you tweak it the next time so that you are successful? Failures are your keys to success.
In step four, this is our chance to rewrite the story of who we are and what’s possible for us.
Now that you’ve seen some of those beliefs that are maybe making you feel like you aren’t good enough or you can’t do this, is to begin to rewrite that story, to replace those false beliefs with what’s really true. This is your opportunity to begin to see where your inner glass ceiling is, where you feel like you can’t go above this and to rewrite that story.
Let yourself know, “Yes, I’m lovable. Yes, I’m capable. Yes, I can do this. Yes, I have the right to do this. Yes, I have gifts to bring to this world.”
Make sure that you’re setting some realistic expectations for yourself. It takes time to make these kinds of changes. Don’t expect that, in a week it’s going to be all done or that you’re going to have, established some new habits really quickly. Then you get disappointed when things don’t happen that way.
Know that it takes time for new habits to be ingrained. Know that the weight’s not going to just fall off or you’re not going to feel energetic right away. It’s going to take time. Be ready for it. And notice those small changes and celebrate those. Each little bit, it’s like compounding interest. You’re going to lose a couple of pounds and then you’ll lose a couple more and then you’ll lose a couple more. These little changes, bit by bit, will all add up. And so celebrate those changes, those little additions. It’s all for the good.
It’s important to do some planning because if you don’t plan ahead, you’re more likely to have trouble.
If your goal is to eat healthier at work, then you need to think ahead. What does that mean that you need to do? Do you need to bring food with you? Do you need to make a smoothie and take it with you for lunch? Do you need to look ahead for healthy places you can eat? If you generally have meetings that are over lunch, where are you having these meetings? What are the things that you need to do so that you can set yourself up for success?
Look at what’s happening now that’s your day-to-day regular, and do some planning on how you can make some tweaks, some shifts, some planning ahead so that you can set yourself up for success.
In the fifth step, we are really looking at where it is that we need to expand our knowledge.
We’ve uncovered our roadblocks. We’ve seen where we are right now. We’ve started to rewrite the story of who we are.
And now we realize that we need to know some more things. Maybe we need to widen our recipe repertoire. Maybe we need to discover some way of getting exercise that we actually enjoy. Maybe we need some new people around us who can be supportive of what we’re doing. So in this step five is about finding out what it is that we need to learn, what we need to bring into our life, and begin to make that happen.
Don’t think about this big, huge goal. Think about incremental steps you can make along the way. The 2% change you can make each day.
Instead of trying to change everything all at once: I’m going to get up every morning early and do this exercise. I’m going to go to bed early. I’m going to start to meditate. I’m going to do this and do that… It’s way too much to try to do all at once.
So what’s the FIRST thing that you can do that will help you get further along on your journey? And then what’s the next thing?
You want to make sure that you have the support that you need. Are there people that in your circle that you can get to encourage you? Who can be a part of your team that will help you be successful?
That’s one thing a coach can do. If you’re interested in finding out about coaching with me, sign up for a free consultation.
And, but there are other ways as well. You know, is there a support group in your community or online? Is there a Facebook group? Is there a friend of yours at work or a family member who is also trying to do this? If you have somebody that you can do this with and you can support each other, that will help you go a long way as well. Doing this totally all alone can be a bit daunting.
And now in the final step is to take the things that we’ve learned about ourselves, take what we’ve discovered and begin to make it become a regular part of our lives.
This is not something that you’re gonna just do in a few days or a few weeks or a few months. It’s gonna take the rest of your life to be able to keep yourself on track, to continue to grow as you move forward in further directions, as you come up against new challenges, and you’re ready to take the very next step. And once again, you’ve come across that inner glass ceiling or there’s new things you need to learn. These are skills that you can use over and over again as you continue your journey to reaching your whole and healthy self.
This is a lifelong journey. A winding journey. It’s like going up a mountain. And as you go further up to the top, you will continue to use these tools in order to help you be successful.
So yes, making New Year’s resolutions can be easy, but keeping them and actually reaching your goals can be difficult. But you can do it by setting reasonable goals, by being clear about what you’re trying to do, by celebrating your progress bit by bit, by having some support, by being clear on why it is you wanna do these things, and by giving yourself the time to actually make it happen. By planning, by doing the things that we talked about in this video, you can actually be successful.
And I would love to help you. If you’d love a little support, find the link in the box below and sign up for a free consultation. We can talk about how working with me can help you reach your goals.
So how about you? Do you like to make resolutions? Have you tried it in the past and failed? What happened and why?
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