The struggle to consistently live our lives in a meaningful and healthy way is real. There are so many things that are pushing and pulling us to eat poorly, work too hard, and ignore our own needs. Even when we know better!
We are stressed out, bombarded by 24/7 negative messaging, pressured by our family, friends, and job. We are confused about what it takes to be Whole & Healthy. And we have limiting beliefs about what is even possible for us.
I Struggle Myself
A recurring issue for me is getting over extended. I push myself hard. I’m prone to taking on more than I can manage in a healthy manner. If you’ve been following me for a while you may have heard me talk about it before. My intentions are good, but poor boundaries and failing to speak up for myself have been the main sources of my physical and mental health issues over the years. For holding me back from fully expressing my passion and purpose. When I’m stressed and exhausted I can’t do what I want to do and do not make the best decisions.
Back in the late 1990’s allowing myself to get overwhelmed and exhausted was what caused me a bout with depression. I was directing a large Religious Education program. More times than I can count I would end up driving home exhausted and in tears at 10pm after a looooooong day putting on a community event. Too much landed on my shoulders. Too few people were willing to help carry the load. So I just kept doing it myself.
And then an in-law moved in. A niece. In her 20s. With life issues. Who took over the one room in the house that was all mine. Who needed lots of support. Suddenly I had three daughters to care for. After a few months I just couldn’t take it anymore.
Now, I fully support helping my family out. But in this case I had nothing left to give. To give to my family, my work, or to myself. It was the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back. I was weepy, exhausted, anxious and couldn’t focus on anything.
Question: What’s your biggest struggle?
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Finding My Way To A Whole & Healthy Me
So, I left home for a week to renew myself and figure out what I wanted for my life.
I went to visit my grandmother’s home in the woods. I spent one of thoses nights by myself in a tent on her property. It was a spot where I had camped with my family many times when I was growing up. I spent my time away reflecting on what I needed and wanted. I journaled a lot. I listened to my Grandmother’s stories about her younger years and some of the struggles she’d had.
During that time I got a clearer picture of what a Whole & Healthy me could look like.
Reflect: What would Whole & Healthy look like for you?
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Next, I took time to examine what was really going on in my life.
I looked at how I was spending my time. Where the biggest stressors and energy and time sucks were. I looked at what brought me joy. I examined how my choices impacted how I felt. And how I felt impacted my choices. I tried my best to understand how I had gotten to where I was. And how I could start making my way to Wholeness.
I decided that I needed to start my transformational journey with figuring out how to clear things off of my way too full plate.
Reflect: What thing in your life do you most need to address now to move towards being Whole & Healthy?
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I reached out to a friend for a referral for counseling. I knew I needed help from someone I could trust so I could get control of my life instead of having my life control me.
In that supportive space I uncovered how my beliefs and fears had led me to where I was and were keeping me from the Whole & Healthy life I knew was available to me, if only I knew how to claim it.
It’s tempting to blame everyone else for our difficulties. But the truth is that we have to take responsibility for OUR OWN PART in what is happening in our lives. My part was that I had abandoned my own self by not having good boundaries or speaking up when I felt taken advantage of.
When we can accept our own part (even if it’s only 3% of what’s happening) it actually gives us tremendous power to change our experiences.
Reflect: What’s your 3%? How could you show up differently?
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As I began to trust and honor myself more, I discovered that things opened up and fell together in ways that often felt like magic.
I started to make more Whole & Healthy decisions. I started asking for more help. I hired support both at work and at home, and said “no” more. I was able to make time for taking care of ME. I was able to spend time doing things that fed me like taking a ceramics class and honoring my need for rest and time alone. Then I was able to show up for my family and my work in healthier ways.
Ultimately, I started to reject my old false beliefs and embrace the Wholeness of who I truly am, just as I am. (A journey I’m still on.)
Reflect: What are your top 2 strengths? What makes you special?
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As I studied, and learned more and more, I saw a clearer and clearer picture of who I really am. Not everyone liked who I was becoming! My relationships changed. Some ended. Others deepened. And new relationships developed. New doors opened while others closed.
I’ve learned to trust this unfolding, even (or especially?) through the painful parts. It isn’t always easy. But there are always gifts and healing when I open myself up and surrender to the lessons and growth being offered to me.
I took a deep dive to learn about how to actually create the Whole & Healthy lifestyle that I had long wanted to live.
I studied plant-based nutrition and cooking as I changed my diet. I joined a class and started doing yoga regularly to nurture my body. I deepened my spiritual practice to help connect me to my inner power and purpose. I went on a meditation retreat. I found a supportive community that felt more like home. I explored African centered ways of thinking and being which resonated deeply with me. And eventually I moved to Tanzania, where the learning continues as I embrace ever deeper levels of healing and wellness in all aspects of my life.
Reflect: What do you need to learn more about?
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My journey to becoming Whole & Healthy is a process that continues even now. There are still things to learn. There are still layers of hidden beliefs that are at the root of why I may still sometimes have a hard time saying no. Or sometimes be afraid of asking for what I need, or of speaking my mind.
With each layer of healing I discover more of my true, powerful, healthy self. It allows me to reach down even deeper to heal even more. And to be and do even more.
The healing process is a bit like an onion. Each time we work through another level, we hone our skills and gifts and take another step towards bringing the full force of our magic, our gifts, our purpose to the world.
Reflect: What’s your magic? Your gift? Your purpose? How do you make a difference for the people in your life? What could you bring forth if you were able to step into YOUR true, Whole & Healthy, bad-ass, powerful and beautiful self?
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If you are ready for a change, I’d love to help you on your path to healing, harmony and wholeness.
Because we need powerful, Whole & Healthy people like you in this world.
My newest program, Whole & Healthy, is now open. It’s a six-week program carefully designed to help you create the sustainable Whole & Health lifestyle you’ve dreamed of. And for the first 5 people who sign up, you’ll get $100 off the price! Just enter the code first5 at check out.
Find out more and get signed up here.
Will you join me?
P.S. if you have questions don’t hesitate to ask them in the comments below.
